Starting over 🌚
Just when I thought things were going to settle, a full bag of garbage fell on me. I am not doing well, I had a month of big plans for my work and my channel, and all i’m trying to do is the bare minimum to get by each day. Which i’m proud I am able to (mostly) do.
The Bare Minimum
Clean space : making the bed, quick vacuum, everything off the counters, shower, meal prep (a little), putting a small amount of effort into getting ready for the day, and going to work.
The Bonus Things
Skin care
Picking out clothes the day before
Exercising
Practicing my Spanish
Reading
Writing
Working on my side projects for my personal self
I truly feel like i’m coasting lately, and it’s been tough from all the work I did put in to get to where I am today.
I Know you can’t hold on to the people that don’t value you, as much as you them. At the end of the day showing up for you is really what it’s about. Showing up for you and knowing you have the choice in how you move forward. With that being said, it’s easier said than done. I sought out for help in a variety of ways, several health professionals, to my partner. While I may seem like everything is fine and dandy; like most, I hurt, I cry, and I feel just like everyone else. And it’s really okay. i’m not dying. I feel betrayed and I’m not taking it particularly well.
I guess this is my “Cheers, you’re in your 30’s and this happens all the time” - to myself. I just didn’t think it would be this particular person to hurt me. Everything feels worse and takes way more energy. I want to lay in bed all day and feel bad for myself, I don’t feel like eating or leaving the house, and it’s hard to talk to anyone right now. While i’m going through all the feels, i’m still producing content, working hard and trying my best to keep face.
If you have someones in your life, who really don’t love you the way you love or care for them, they may not hold the value you give them. Which may no longer serve you in the long run. They don’t deserve our time or attention anymore. They’re just not your people, and you deserve so much.
Cheers to pain train. Let’s get this show on the road.
